In The Blink of An Eye

One thing Tyler and I learned over this past weekend is that life can definitely change in the blink of an eye. As most of you know, it is no secret that Tyler and I have been trying to have a baby for almost 2 years now. We have tried fertility medication, been to a fertility clinic and then in Sept I had surgery for stage IV endometriosis. Then, on November 14th we thought our long drawn out and painful wait was over. We were ecstatic. We decided not to tell anyone except a couple of close friends. We knew it was early, so we wanted to wait until we went to the doctor before telling our parents and then we would tell them at Christmas.

Things appeared to be going pretty good. I was only 6 weeks along, but I still felt fine and was thinking maybe I'll miss the whole morning sickness thing. We had started doing what I'm sure many expectant parents do...thinking about baby names, thinking how our life would be different this time next year, how our friends kids will finally have play dates, etc. Well on Friday all of that disappeared in the blink of an eye.

I started having some spotting Friday morning when I got up getting ready for work. Well of course I started to worry. Considering our long road to get to this point, any little thing made me nervous. I called my doctor and set an appointment to come in. So Tyler and I went in at 2 to have things checked out. They did an ultrasound, we knew going in that it was so early there was a good chance we would not be able to see a heartbeat yet. Well, to our surprise, there it was. A tiny fluttering movement and she pointed out there it is, there is the heartbeat. No words can describe.

Everything looked ok at the time and the doctor just said to take it easy over the weekend. Well we had been home all of 15 minutes before my bleeding started. We waited a couple of hours thinking everything would be ok, that maybe it would stop, but it got to the point we knew we had to go to the ER. After a long 6 hours in the ER, they confirmed I'd lost the baby. No words can describe this either. Crushed.

It has been a very painful past couple of days and I know it's only beginning. Some of you may be wondering why in the world would I post this on our blog for everyone to see. Well for one, this blog is about our life, good and bad. And second it's a way for me to talk about it, get it out without having to actually talk to someone right now, which is very difficult to do at the moment.

Even though we are unsure about our future and getting pregnant again, one thing we do know is that God is in control. As hard as it is for two control freaks like us, we know we have to have faith in God during this time. No, we don't understand why and I'm sure we never will, but that is where faith comes in. We praise God in the good times and the bad. No, it's not easy at all, but we have to trust that God will bless this situation as painful as it is. We just ask that you continue to pray for us through this very painful and difficult time.
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1


**This next blog of us doing the zipline was the week I found out I was pregnant. I decided not to do the zipline just to be on the safe side so that's why you don't see me with all the gear on with everyone else.